nothing ever stops happening. stories never end they fade into new beginnings. sadness travels among lonely souls like a gypsy leaving them wondering and preparing for it’s return. trains never stop arriving at stations. the sun keeps shining even when it is not seen. réveurs never cease chasing their escape. the world at large is constantly anticipating and calculating.
perspective fools us into viewing a definite start or finish but nothing ever really stops happening.

it’s kind of a funny story

photo credits: Lisa Mazzei (lisamazze on Instagram)

i look at my surroundings, they’re the same shade of grey. the situation and state of mind i currently stand in is complicated.

i’ve been in it for as long as i can remember, i haven’t experienced highs or lows ever since i unknowingly landed myself here which when viewed from someone else’s perspective, is a very good thing. but for me it’s a nightmare. i wish i had highs and/or lows because then i’d know where i was and which way to turn.

my mind feels like a world where everything is calm but in a scary kind of way. the wind never stops and rustles the leaves on trees but doesn’t bend the barks. there are tiny cracks in roads, millions of them, but no potholes.

in betweens like these always send shivers down my spine because i know there are faults but when viewed from outside, everything looks just right and hence help never comes from someone else.

i sometimes go to sleep hoping i never wake up but i don’t think i would ever do anything to make it happen. that’s the in between i sometimes get stuck in. chilling right?

medium is the norm, but it scares me. i know that i am not the only one person who is sad but i am also terrified. my routine, the ‘everybody goes through that’ in between doesn’t just make me sad, it petrifies me.

show me the way

photo credits: salvadormaliiii (via Instagram)

show me the way
i will walk with my eyes closed

i don’t want to be hurt anymore
i’d follow you even on a night with no moon

i am out of words to describe the depth of my mess
tears stroll down my cheek
wish you were here to wipe them off

no one can see them but you
you are an exception

you understand my scars
and if you show me a way
that leads me to you

i won’t second guess leaving


we’re all so used to complicated things that whenever something simple shows up we get lost and we deem it unworthy. that is the greatest sadness, the belief that we don’t deserve happiness if it comes simple or that it isn’t real or true happiness if we didn’t have to climb mountains or cross seas for it. it is the only reason we’re all so tired and exhausted, we don’t acknowledge the things right in front of us. we always tend to go the long way around because we’re raised to believe that nothing comes easy and things, real things, are always complicated. it’s why when we understand something we break and burn it because we feel we don’t deserve it.

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